Monday, January 31, 2005

And The Weener Is....

Citizens United, for their unrelenting smugness:
...a billboard blitz "thanking" Hollywood for the reelection of President Bush will be unveiled early next week.

The advertisements feature the faces of liberal Hollywood icons Michael Moore, Whoopi Goldberg, Ben Affleck, Martin Sheen, Chevy Chase, Barbara Streisand, and Sean Penn, and offer thanks to Hollywood their help getting President Bush reelected.

...Billboard creator Citizens United, a group that advocates a return to traditional American values, has purchased the use of three billboards near the Kodak Theatre (home of the Academy Awards) for the month of February, which includes Oscar Night, Sunday, February 27....

See NMMNB for pictures of billboards.

I wish Michael Moore would focus his lenses on the hypocrites at CU. Imagine the horrors we'd see.

The Face Of Courage

Whatever the lies or truths in Team Bush's spin, no one can deny the bad-ass courage shown by the Iraqis who made it to the polls, and made history doing so.

What do we want?


When do we want it?


Friday, January 28, 2005

Show Turtle Head The Door

And let it spank his Repuglican-lite ass on the way out. Atrios sez some '06 buzz is that Paul Newman may give Joe Lieberman a run for his money. Commenter Pollyanna brings it home:

Are you screwing with us? The left's answer to Arnold is in fact not Jerry Springer, but Paul Newman? A hottie, philanthropist, race-car driving candidate? I have died and gone to Democratic Heaven.


Nascar voters? Check.
Women voters? Check.
Macho men voters? Check.
Senior citizen voters? Check.
Star-gazer voters? Check.

Go Paul Go!

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Barbara Speaks We Listen

In her very own Kos diary, the bestest Senator sez thanks:
I can't thank all of you enough -- the Daily Kos community, and the blogosphere as a whole -- for all of your effective work during the recent debate over Condoleezza Rice's nomination. Your support and participation in this critical debate meant so much to me.

More than 94,000 Americans from across the country signed my petition and stood together to demand the truth from Condoleezza Rice. It was truly an overwhelming response -- much more than I could have anticipated. You helped to get our message out to millions of Americans -- I couldn't have done it without you.

And you made a difference. You gave me the voice I needed to ask the tough questions during Dr. Rice's confirmation hearings. And you gave the entire United States Senate the voice it needed to take its "advice and consent" responsibility seriously. In fact, Condoleezza Rice received 13 votes against her confirmation -- the most votes against any Secretary of State's nomination since 1825.

Go. Read.

I'm weepy over here.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Silly Daddy And Mister Shiny-Head

Did you know that Barney had a blog? He was quite the scribe, and photo-captioner too.
This is Silly Daddy on the phone. He is wishing Merry Christmas to the soldiers in Iraq! They are still getting killed. I used to be sad about that. But then I talked to Grandmum Bush. She explained that I shouldn't waste my beautiful mind on something like that. She is so smart! It is hard to believe she is really Silly Daddy's mommy.

Silly Daddy musta seen Barney's blog and pulled the pooch? Bummer! I was startin' to like that mut.

It's A Small Small World

Especially at Flickr.
"Wait. Let me get this straight.

A guy from Scotland goes 5490 miles to Tokyo and takes a picture of a girl taking a picture. She turns out to be from England, 413 miles away from him.

Impressive, but not all that weird.


He posts the picture he took on a Website (in Canada, irrelevantly) and within 6 weeks the girl in the photo finds it?

That is truly amazing.

Have I mentioned lately that I love the Internets?

You Heard The Man: Use It Or Lose It

It's like a civil war but without the killing. Divide Iraq.

6 Days 19 Hours

Only 4 bids so far. Be the highest bidder and you, like Team Bush, can hire your very own wingnutter propogandist!

In true capitalist fashion, Buy him Now is not an option.

Blonde nod to First Draft.

Fuck You Manjoo

David Livingstone, the righteous guy behind Black Thursday, has a message for Salon's Farhad Manjoo who poo-pooed on Not One Damn Dime Day:
Wall Street and the Republican Party must be pleased to know that Farhad Manjoo's got their back whenever anyone questions their "entitlement" to consumer dollars. Manjoo's "Not One Damn Bit Of Good?" War Room entry displays just how much he doesn't get it -- and how useful that makes him both to Dubya and to advocates of glorious, unbridled consumption.

As the initiator of a corollary initiative to NODDD,, I was -- unlike Manjoo -- in a position to evaluate the efficacy of the project firsthand. Manjoo makes the same mistake in evaluating the boycott as Sean Hannity did: He assumes that the primary goal is immediate economic impact. Nah-uh.

The "boycott" was a means to a variety of ends, namely: media visibility for anti-Bush forces concurrent with the absurd bacchanalia of his recoronation; media attention to the reasons for the opposition (in my case, due airtime was accorded for discussions of WMD and the lack thereof in Iraq, the assault on Social Security, election irregularities, and other issues); an opportunity to reintroduce millions of nonactivist Americans to the concept of a boycott as a political tool that literally anyone can use; and an opportunity to gather names and marshal forces for further initiatives in months to come (already in the works).

Did it work? I can only speak to the effort I was involved in, the comparatively modest smaller sibling to NODDD, Black Thursday. By my estimate, we managed to reach at least 10 million Americans with our message, via our Web site, the Associated Press and other newspaper articles, and broadcast appearances (notably Hannity & Colmes and miscellaneous cable news broadcasts). Not bad, considering a total out-of-pocket expenditure of $40 and a scant 22 days' lead time prior to Dear Leader's day in the sun.

In contrast, Farhad Manjoo -- like so many naysayers throughout the ages -- seems to have relegated himself to the unenviable and marginal position of sniping from the sidelines. History, I would like to remind him, rewards those who act more than it does those who stand and sniff haughtily at the efforts of others.


Refresh Madness

Is it a sign of mental illness that I spent 8 hours at Daily Kos yesterday, glued to the live blogging of Rice's SOS hearings? Thanks, Kosopolitans!

Is it a sign of mental illness that I've been at work for two+ hours and haven't done one damn thing but read my favorite bloggers (see sidebar) on the Shitty News Of The Day?

Yeah, it is.

Woohoooooooooooooooooo. *spinning in chair* I love the Internets!

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

No! On Gonzales

I'm joining the Kos choir.
With this nomination, we have arrived at a crossroads as a nation. Now is the time for all citizens of conscience to stand up and take responsibility for what the world saw, and, truly, much that we have not seen, at Abu Ghraib and elsewhere. We oppose the confirmation of Alberto Gonzales as Attorney General of the United States, and we urge the Senate to reject him.

Charging him with crimes against humanity would be nice too. But, hey, We the People will take what we can get.

Monday, January 24, 2005

Make It A Cool Billion

Or, I know, a Kajillion. No, a Bazillion, yeah, a Bazillion Dollars, that ought to make 'em roll over on their guy. Cuz, you know, $25 mil just doesn't go as far as it used to in Kabul.
With the trail of Osama bin Laden gone cold, the U.S. State Department is revving up a new publicity blitz to remind Afghans and Pakistanis of the $25 million bounty for al-Qaeda's chief. Bin Laden is still thought to be hiding somewhere along the 1,640-mile, mountainous Afghanistan-Pakistan border, but intelligence officials in Kabul and Islamabad say there has been no trace of him for the past 20 months. By the end of February, the White House is expected to double the sum on bin Laden's head, to $50 million, acting on legislation passed in November by Congress.

Republicans: The gift that keeps giving:
The newspaper ads, seen in Pakistani towns, signify a shift in the theory about where bin Laden might be. Congressman Mark Kirk, the Illinois Republican who wrote the bill boosting the reward and who just traveled to Pakistan, says it's possible bin Laden is not in some snowy mountain cave but has melted away into one of the teeming Pakistani cities, as had several other al-Qaeda agents who have been captured. "What we're looking for is some young Pashtun living in a town who knows the value of $25 million and can figure out how to reach us safely," says Kirk.

And Mom wonders why Jose Cuervo is a friend of mine.


So my cyberbuddie Tas is going under the knife and we at Capitol Banter wish him a super-speedy recovery from whatever ails him, and as I'm a curious sort with an over-active imagination, I Googled 'celebrity surgeries' because, well, Tas kinda-sorta-not-but-so? fits the bill and, well, I'll never get THIS half-hour back.

Sometimes Mother Nature shouldn't be fucked with.

Friday, January 21, 2005

What's Up With Babs?

Barbara Boxer's not taking any Republican shit:
"There is a sense among a lot of Democrats that it is very important not to give Bush a free ride, at any point," she said.


"I don't believe in mandates," she said.

"But what I do believe in is keeping promises to the people," she said. "I told them election night - and I didn't know how prophetic this was - that if I had to stand alone, I will do it. I am not afraid."

You are not alone, Senator. We've got your back.

Kill Hubble?

Under Team Bush's command, science suffers another fatality.
WASHINGTON - The White House has eliminated funding for a mission to service the Hubble Space Telescope from its 2006 budget request and directed NASA to focus solely on deorbiting the popular spacecraft at the end of its life, according to government and industry sources.

NASA is debating when and how to announce the change of plans.

Outraged Hubble-huggers are debating how to save the eye in the sky, thinking of creative financial fixes, and I thought Paul Breen of San Diego had a good idea:
"Let's 'adjourn' the war in Iraq for two weeks. The money saved would be enough to service the telescope."

Sorry, Paul, et. al. Hubble's going to the scrap heap not for financial reasons. Preznit Bush just doesn't want God peeking in on him; he's been very a bad monkey.

Big Hat No Cattle

Forthworth, Texas:

A Texas radio station has sparked some controversy by erecting not-so-flattering billboards featuring al Qaida head Osama bin Laden, former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein and late Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat.

The signs say "Two down, one to go," an apparent reference to Arafat's death and Saddam's toppling by a U.S.-led invasion last year. There are also signs that have bin Laden alone that say "Some people want you dead." There are about 20 signs around the Dallas-Fort Worth area.

Somewhere Osama Bin Laden is laughing his ass off.

Good Taste Trump's Bad Hair

He thanked patrons with good humor, gamely answering such questions as "What do you really like to rock out to when you're alone?"

"Neil Young," he called back from his perch.

Dear Donald: I'll never make fun of your comb-over again.

Yours In Rust,

Thursday, January 20, 2005

For More Years

Fuuuuuuuuuuuck. Just when I am resigned to the fact that Bush is the most powerful man in the free world -- still -- a man with access to the mother of all buttons, I see shit like this and can do nothing but reach for the bottle of Jack:

LINCOLN, Nebraska (AP) -- Sen. Ben Nelson finally has succeeded in getting President Bush to stop calling him by the nickname "Nellie."

Bush had been referring to the Nebraska Democrat as "Nellie" since 2001.

Nelson disliked the nickname and had asked the president to stop using it.

The president likes to give people nicknames. He has called Vladimir Putin, the president of Russia, "Pootie-Poot," while aide Karen Hughes gets "High Prophet."

But Bush heeded Nelson's request to scrap his moniker, and at the recent White House Christmas party, the president referred to Nelson as "Benny."

"The president had a twinkle in his eye when he called me that," Nelson said. "He knew what he had done. I said, 'Thank you, Mr. President."'


Words fail.

God, Paging God

Eric's pretty sure that America needs a minute of your time:
To the horror of its well-wishers across the world, the United States—once the “last, best hope of mankind”- is re-inaugurating the worst president in its history; one who has exploited an attack, the success of which its own incompetence helped enable, in order to execute an extremist agenda that is killing thousands, costing trillions and leaving all of us far more insecure than when it began. Before November 2, we could argue it was all a mistake; the guy ran as a “compassionate conservative,” misrepresented his record, Nader screwed everything up, and we actually voted for Gore anyway. It took the Republicans on the Supreme Court—two of whom were appointed by the guy’s dad—to stick the country with this regime filled with ideological fanatics and corrupt incompetents. Now, what are we to say? Fifty-nine million members of our nation do not mind that we were deliberately misled into a war that has drained our blood and treasure to create nothing but hatred and chaos; and that the very people who were at fault have been rewarded and promoted, encouraged to look for new targets to spread their hubristic malevolence. It defies all logic and truthfully, my ability to explain or even fully understand it. One thing is for certain: Based on an virtually unanimous unwillingness to consider its past mistakes and learn from them, things are going to get far, far worse before they get better. Thousands more will die. (Twenty six yesterday.) Trillions more will be squandered. Millions more will grow to hate and revile the name of the United States of America and prepare to attack us in ways for which our government is resolutely unwilling to prepare. Avoidable catastrophe awaits this nation and its victims during the next four years as we will undoubtedly reap what we have sown.

God Bless America. Quick! We need all the help we can get.

Bloguralific Protests

10 blocks.
At least. Down 16th street. A brief stop at u street.

The chant:

What do we want?
When do we want it?

Scuse me. I need to tear up for a bit.

My sentiments exactly.

Black Thursday

What Mark said:
This is about the time your head spins all the way around and you shudder in disbelief and you stifle a giggle and hold your sides and restrain yourself from gagging, think happy thoughts about sex and love and trees because otherwise you just smash your head with a brick and throw puppies into paper shredders to numb the pain and quiet the screams.

Term II is underway. Dog be merciful.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Conflict Of Interest?

Rawstory thinks so:
The chief editorial writer at the Wall Street Journal, the paper which disparaged two progressive blogs over accepting money from Howard Dean's campaign, serves on President Bush's fellowship board with Armstrong Williams, RAWSTORY has learned. He is also being hired as chief speechwriter for the Bush Administration.

The GOP's response? C'mon, you know the answer to that one, it's easy...

Nothing to see here; move along, folks.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Tick Tock

Huh. My Governator really is the Terminator.
SAN FRANCISCO Convicted double-murderer Donald Beardslee apparently has just hours to live.

California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger had denied Beardslee clemency and the U-S Supreme Court has also rejected his appeals. Beardslee is scheduled to die by injection at one minute past midnight, California time.

He won't be back.

Exercising His Muscle

Ezra learned a few things about Dick, courtesy of the NYT:

• Dick Cheney is running this Administration's domestic policy.

• Dick Cheney is running this Administration's foreign policy.

• Dick Cheney adamantly maintains he is running no policies.

• Dick Cheney does not like politics, jokes, or back-slapping.

• Dick Cheney obsessively counts votes and is one of the best legislative and political minds in the country.

• Dick Cheney is a "professional worrier" who bucked conventional wisdom and predicted the recession.

• Dick Cheney is not worried about the deficit.

• Dick Cheney is a radical.

• Dick Cheney is a pragmatist.

• Dick Cheney spends long hours with George W. Bush going into minute policy details.

• Dick Cheney is an enigma, wrapped in a mystery, shrouded in a fog of confusion.

Ezra forgot one: Dick Cheney is hung. (That, or his colostomy bag slipped. YT posts, you decide)

Exercising his muscle, indeed.

Give Her A Fucking Break

So today I'm surfin' Tbogg's blogroll, looking for something interesting to read, and by interesting I mean something that I haven't seen a million other places, and I click on HisRoyalSnarkiness' first link, 100 Monkeys Typing -- simply because I like the name -- and I'm led to Libertarian Girl's blog, or rather a post on her blog, wherein she writes about her one night of fucking "a conservative "pro-life" "family values" Christian congressman" and I'm thinking, yeah! this isn't your typical Bush Bashing site of which I'm quite fond of, name names girl! ... and then I get to the comments section, reading a certain Brian Macker, and I'm thinking, what a prickish dolt:

I don't suppose you've ever hear of the phrase "I don't kiss and tell"? There are reasons why people follow that principle. The least of which is that you are not likely to get new dates if you chronicle your prior ones on your blog. At least not with the type of guy you'd want to marry at some point in the future.

Oh, brother! The comments go downhill from there, and that's saying something.

Don't listen to them, LG, (except Skippy, who's pouch-perfect); tell those who poo-pooed your fucking fuck post to fuck off, that you'll fuck who you want, when you want, and blog the shit out of it if you want, it's your fucking house, that they can shove their sanctimonious scoldings straight up their collective asses. I would. Who the fuck are they to judge you? Here's hoping if you do blog your sex life with hypocritical family-values Congressmen who are good in the rack, you land a sweet book deal like Breakup Babe or that ass-fucking beltway lovely Washingtonienne.

Go forth, fornicate. Politicians are fucking us, why not return the favor?

USA! USA! It ain't called the land of opportunity for nuttin', honey.

Monday, January 17, 2005

Who Killed Social Security?

The secret's out, liberal Baby Boomers killed Social Security. How? By abortion, of course!
SAN DIEGO -- A member of the governing board of the nation's largest black denomination said Social Security is in trouble today because baby boomers aborted much of the generation that would have supported their retirement.

Bishop George McKinney of the Church of God in Christ said, "Part of the problem that we're seeing now with Social Security has to do with the fact that 40 to 50 million people who have been killed through abortions have not taken their role as productive citizens."

Take the poll. Either it's been Boomered (as opposed to Freeped) or Mr. Church of God in Christ doesn't know what the hell he's talking about; as of right now, poll stands at 82% who think he's out of his fucking mind.

Yeah, Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight

Pakistan sez, Huh? What "American commando task force in South Asia was working closely with a group of Pakistani scientists who had dealt with their Iranian counterparts" -- nothing to see here, move along:
"Our contacts in the past were between some individuals and some shady characters. There has been no government-to-government contact in the field of nuclear energy," he said.

Nuclear-armed Pakistan has been under the international spotlight since early 2004 when a scandal broke that some of its scientists, led by Khan, were involved in nuclear proliferation to Iran, Libya and North Korea.

Feeling safer?

Welcome To The Party, Pal

What I wrote, only better.

Friday, January 14, 2005

The No Shit Sherlock Files

Our Preznit has had an epiphany:
"Sometimes, words have consequences you don't intend them to mean," Bush said Thursday. "'Bring 'em on' is the classic example, when I was really trying to rally the troops and make it clear to them that I fully understood, you know, what a great job they were doing. And those words had an unintended consequence. It kind of, some interpreted it to be defiance in the face of danger. That certainly wasn't the case."

Well, it certainly was the fucking result.

It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World

And George W. Bush is the madest of all.

So last night I'm watching the Leni Riefenstahl biography and her relationship with Hitler reminded me of Karl Rove and his relationship with George W. Bush, and Hitler's followers reminded me of Bush supporters. Reifenstahl was a master propagandist; so is Rove. Hitler was crazy, and power obsessed. Bush is a Mad Emperor:
Bush has fallen into a state that is the embodiment of arrogance. Succumbing to the temptation of power, Bush has become corrupt, which is the inevitable consequence when one prefers power over truth. He has fallen into a vicious cycle where he has become addicted to power. Bush and his regime are compulsively driven to do everything and anything they can to hold onto the position of power they find themselves in.


The inner name of ME disease is ‘Mad Emperor’ disease, as it is what happens when a person in a position of power falls prey to and become seduced by that power.


At the root of Bush’s process is an unwillingness and seeming inability to experience his own sense of sin, guilt and shame, as if he is afraid of being exposed, of being found out. He’s clearly unable to feel any remorse and experience his own weakness and vulnerability, his own sense of failure. This threatens his narcissism too much. One aspect of Bush’s pathology is ‘malignant narcissism,’ as he reacts sadistically to others who mirror back his guilt and don’t support and enable his narcissism.

This inability to experience his shame and guilt sets in motion a self-perpetuating cycle of denial, cover-up and projecting the shadow, all of which are based on a lie. Bush then falls into an endless loop of hiding from his own lie, which is to say, from himself.


A key feature of malignant egophrenia is that it is very hard to recognize when someone is a carrier, because the person can seem so normal and even endearing. The person afflicted can be very ‘charming’ and have a certain type of charisma that can entrance those who don't see through their subterfuge. Concerned about nothing other than himself, a person stricken with egophrenia is in reality indifferent to other people’s suffering, all the while professing his compassion, like a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Just like Hitler struck a chord deep in the German unconscious, Bush is touching something very deep in the American psyche. Bush is acting out on the world stage an under-developed psychological process that deals simplistically with issues such as good and evil. It’s as if he hasn't grown out of and fully differentiated from the realm of mythic, archetypal fantasy that is typical of early adolescence. This immature aspect of Bush's process speaks to and resonates with those voters who support him, as it is a reflection of their own under-developed inner process.

Whereas Hitler’s evil was more overt in its cruelty and sadism, Bush’s dark side is much more hidden and disguised, which makes it particularly dangerous. People who voted for Bush are somehow blind to what is very obvious to others. It’s as if they’ve become hypnotized and fallen under the spell that Bush is casting. Why would people vote for someone stricken with malignant egophrenia? People who support Bush are suggestible and susceptible to the same malady that Bush is embodying, as if they have a predisposition for it (based on their own trauma, dissociated psyche and tendency to project the shadow). Supporting Bush is a sign that a person not only doesn't see the deadly illness that is incarnating itself through Bush, but is an expression that this disease has taken up residence in their being and is using them to do its bidding.

As Tas makes note today:
Fucking honestly... What will it take for these people to see the light? What will it take for these wingnuts to finally respond to crimes committed by the Bush administration?


These people are seriously brainwashed. Just like Hitler's legion of supporters.

Is history repeating? If so, can we get to the bunker scene already?!

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

About That Fat Lady

She's singing.
The hunt for biological, chemical and nuclear weapons in Iraq has come to an end nearly two years after President Bush ordered U.S. troops to disarm Saddam Hussein. The top CIA weapons hunter is home, and analysts are back at Langley.

In interviews, officials who served with the Iraq Survey Group (ISG) said the violence in Iraq, coupled with a lack of new information, led them to fold up the effort shortly before Christmas.

Sorry about the deaths, world.

Red Meat

Blood is in the water and the sharks are circling.

I Heart CREW:
WASHINGTON, DC — In light of recent reports that conservative journalist and pundit Armstrong Williams received $240,000 from the Department of Education (DOE) through a contract with Ketchum Public Relations, Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) today has filed a series of Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) requests to 22 government agencies, including all cabinet agencies.


"This type of covert propaganda, has no place in a healthy democracy," Melanie Sloan, executive director of CREW said today. "It is particularly outrageous that the government continues to engage in this sort of illegal activity despite the fact that the GAO has said that it is illegal."

Sloan continued, "The question now is how extensively has the Administration used propaganda to shore up its controversial policies? Did it pay any commentators to speak out in support of the Patriot Act? Is it paying anyone now to convince the public that Social Security is in crisis? By filing these FOIAS, we hope to answer these questions."


CREW also sent the following agencies FOIAs today: Department of Agriculture, Department of Commerce, Department of Defense, Department of Education, Department of Energy, Department of Health and Human Services, Department of Homeland Security, Department of Housing and Urban Development, Department of the Interior, Department of Justice, Department of Justice, Department of Labor, Department of State, Department of Transportation, Department of the Treasury, Department of Veterans Affairs, Drug Enforcement Agency, Environmental Protection Agency, Federal Communications Commission, Federal Emergency Management Agency, Food and Drug Administration, Securities and Exchange Commission and the Social Security Administration.

Who's wearing the blue dress now?

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

My Eyes

It burns, it burns!


Monday, January 10, 2005


The long knives, er, Raw Story are out for Armstrong Leave-No-Check-Behind Williams; his homosexual-hara$$ment past is frontal and center:
...grabbed his buttocks and genitals and climbed into bed with him on business trips...


My advice to him would be to get a boyfriend and leave his employees alone.

Go. Read. Laugh. Tell a friend.

One Man's Fun

Is another man's certain cybersquatting nightmare.
BOSTON (Reuters) - Massachusetts Republicans have launched a pre-emptive strike against Democratic Attorney General Tom Reilly by snapping up online Internet addresses that would have been obvious picks for him if he decides to run for governor in 2006.

Reilly has not yet said whether he will challenge Republican Governor Mitt Romney in 2006. But if Reilly does run, it will be hard for him to use the Web sites,, and

That's because the state Republican Party registered those domain names last week, the Boston Herald newspaper reported on Monday.

"It was bought with the intention to have some fun if he is indeed the nominee," Tim O'Brien, executive director of the state party, told the Herald.

Fun, Republican-style. Let the character assassination begin!

Boston Herald front page.


10 kids strip-searched to find a missing $10 bill.
The search angered at least one parent, who filed a complaint with police and pulled her four children out of the school.

"I have never signed a consent to let my kids be strip-searched -- never," said Shelli Owens, the mother of a 12-year-old boy who was searched.

Green said the school has conducted such searches in the past without calling parents.

"Never had a complaint," she said. "I can't say if it happened again I wouldn't do the same thing."

If it were my kid, Ms. Green, doing it again might prove difficult, what with the body cast and feeding tube and all.

Blonde nod to No Capital.

They've Left The Building

CBS has canned four staffers for Rathergate.

Now that that's settled, can someone please tell me where the fuck George W. was during 1972, you know, during the time he was supposed be serving his country?

Friday, January 07, 2005

Citizen Carnage

So the head cheeze of US ground forces in Iraq is telling reporters that "four key provinces of the country are still not secure enough for citizens to vote" and I got to thinking about P Diddy's Citizen Change campaign of 2004. You remember the slogan:

Now it makes sense. I wonder if P Diddy's had any mid-east requests for left-over merchandi$e. He could make a killing.

It's Ba'aaaaaaaack

My outrage, that is. My he's gotta be fucking kidding me is he crazy?! inner siren everytime I read something Herr Leader sez. He's insane. And no one's gonna do a damn thing about him.

Yes, gone are my days of margaritas poolside and lazying about with the warm sun on my skin, my only concern how big my ass looks in Levis.

My Preznit's a fucking insane lunatic madman freeeeeeak!

President Bush rejected any suggestion today that the Jan. 30 elections in Iraq would do more harm than good. He declared that they would constitute a landmark, not only in American policy toward Iraq but in that country's road to democracy.

"Democracy is hard," Mr. Bush said in a brief question-and-answer session in the White House. "Our own country's had a history of kind of a bumpy road toward democracy."

Referring to the campaign to stabilize Iraq, Mr. Bush said: "I know it's hard, but it's hard for a reason. And the reason it's hard is because there are a handful of folks who fear freedom." [snip]

Moreover, Brent Scowcroft, who was national security adviser for the first President Bush, said on Thursday that he had grown pessimistic about chances for stability in Iraq. "The Iraqi elections, rather than turning out to be a promising turning point, have the great potential for deepening the conflict," Mr. Scowcroft said in a speech to a public policy group, The Washington Post reported.

Asked whether he shared Mr. Scowcroft's concerns, Mr. Bush replied: "Quite the opposite. I think elections will be such an incredibly hopeful experience for the Iraqi people." [snip]

Yeah, they'll be hopeful all right. IF they go to the polls, they'll be hoping they aren't blown to fucking bits.

"I suspect if you were asking me questions 18 months ago and I said there's going to be elections in Iraq, you would have had trouble containing yourself from laughing out loud at the president," Mr. Bush said.

Memo to Bush: We're only laughing cuz it beats the alternative.

Three Dog Night

Ain't got nuttin' on me. One isn't a lonely number. One is a beeeeeautiful number. Especially if that one is a Koufax Awards nomination for Most Humorous Blog. Take that Attaturk.

And here I thought I was only ONE who thought the word Fuck was funny.

He shouldn't have. But I'm pleased as punch anyhow. Finally, my 15 minutes...!

Tas, you rock.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Flippity Floppity Flip

On one day office-supply Staples Inc., sez it will pull its advertising from those rat-bastards at Sinclair Broadcasting, and on another day they say nuh-uh, advertising will continue.

Curious, that.

Choices Choices

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the wisest fool of all ... or at least in the last 50 years? The Economist wants to know:

Today we are after that rarer oxymoron: the wisest fool. He or she must be fundamentally an idiot, but a shrewd or cunning one. Candidates need not inhabit Christendom, but they must be alive, or have been in the past 50 years. They may come from the world of politics, or academia or business—or perhaps the church, the stage or journalism. Or somewhere else: on the Titanic, one of them was seen heading for the bar when everyone else was taking to the boats.

George W. Bush coulda been a contender, he's certainly got the "fundamentally an idiot" in spades; too bad "shrewd and cunning" weren't in his corner.

Blonde nod to Political Wire.

Patriot Act

There's one in every crowd:

Anthony Chuck (R) of Chicago, representing the 'Veterans against Torture' protest group, wears a T-shirt reading 'Investigate Gonzales' as United States Attorney General nominee Alberto Gonzales (L) testifies at his Senate confirmation hearing (news - web sites) in Washington, January 6, 2005. Gonzales, whose controversial written legal opinions as White House counsel on the use of torture are inflaming debate over his confirmation, was chosen by President George W. Bush (news - web sites) to replace Attorney General John Ashcroft (news - web sites). REUTERS/Jason Reed


Blonde nod to First Draft.

Someone Pass Me The Bucket

Cuz I'm gonna barf. No, no, not because Bloggers were named People of the Year by World News Tonight. Yes, yes, that's sickening, but what I'm talking about, the truly revolting, the kind of shit that makes you grab your gut, BEND OVER, and heave till your eyes bleed:
...Trent Lott has announced that a singer from "The Lawrence Welk Show" will perform John Ashcroft's "Let the Eagle Soar" at George W. Bush's inauguration.

See what $40 million buys? I guess it could be worse. I hear Ashlee Simpson's looking for work.

Oh, and so long sucker, er Tucker, ya sanctimonious twerpie little fucker.

Things That Make My Head Go Boom

If this doesn't beat all:
WASHINGTON - Senior Democrats are trying to persuade national Chairman Terry McAuliffe to continue his service as party chairman, especially if none of the current candidates gains momentum in the race to replace him.

As my cyberfriend with the Loaded Mouth wrote recently, BEND OVER.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Riding The Kerry-Go-Round

Kos diarist GrainofSand sez, Oh! Hell No:

Dear Senator Kerry,

The email* you sent me and 3 million others today was titled, "Counting on You to Make Sure Votes Get Counted." Excuse me, Sir, but it is WE who are counting on YOU to make sure votes get counted. It is YOU who can stand on the floor of the Senate, not us. I can only vote for you, which I did. I trusted you. I will not make that mistake again.

It was YOU who was the party standard-bearer in the last election. It is YOU who should be here, standing up for Ohio's voters, not on a junket somewhere in the Middle East.

Your cowardly, excuse-filled email says you will be proposing a future study of the election problems. Well guess what. We tried to rationally legislate on voting issues with the GOP over the last four years. It led to this fiasco in Ohio, New Mexico and elsewhere.

I distinctly remember your starting your convention speech saying, "John Kerry, reporting for duty.' Well, as far as I'm concerned, you are AWOL now.

Don't come crawling back in 2008. You, Bill Richardson (who blocked a recount in New Mexico so as not to remind us he lost his own state), and the other losers who run the Democratic Party have proven you care only about your own political future. I hope someone else with backbone is willing to stand up for democracy tomorrow on the Senate floor, even if his political career is jeopardized.

If Howard Dean or some other kick-ass person does not reinvigorate the Democratic Party soon, the Democratic Party is dead. It will be the Whig Party of the 21st Century.

In 2008, what is left of the Democratic faithful will be looking for a leader with guts. An FDR, or a JFK. And you, Sir, are no JFK.

When shoulda coulda woulda ain't gooda enough.

*Kerry's email in Link's comments

Back In The CyberSaddle

So I'm surfin' the Net, reading my favorite blogs [see sidebar], catchin' up on the fucked-up situations spanning the globe and I'm struck by how, after being away from all news for days and days, with the exception of the Tsunami being blown into the mix, everything's pretty much the same fuckedupwise.

John Kerry isn't President-elect Kerry ... yet? Gonzales is going to be confirmed and *cough* promises no more torture even as new torture allegations arise. The Preznit wants us taxpayers to suck his cock, er, I mean pay for his $40 million coronation, er, I mean inauguration because the Normal People really really really need the *ahem* balls, parties, and parades in tragic times. All this death -- war, killer waves, disease -- it's so droll. What would a Bush supporter do without grand displays of American gluttony? All I can say is Thank Dog not all activist organizations are run by idiots. The light on the horizon? Soon Ashlee Simpson will be a has been. Let the snark fly~
Oh, my. I've been to karaoke Tuesday at Big Jim's Trucketeria, friends, and I've never seen anything like this. Sweetheart, pick a key. Learn a move or two. Try lip-syncing. Oh, wait, never mind that last one. It was a staggering display of incompetence matched only by the Oklahoma secondary. I can't remember ever seeing a performer so devoid of singing ability, stage presence, looks or anything else anyone not related would want to see twice.

When Simpson's song mercifully ended, the crowd united in booing. Sooners and Trojans, fat cats and cheap seaters, locals and tourists, 77,912 strong, they found one thing all night they could agree on: Boo!

Best analogy for Bush social security 'reform' in light of today's news that Krispy Kreme deep fried its books:
So what would be left for Grandma and Grandpa to live on if they'd ponied up their retirement fund for a big box of Krispy Kreme shares? Here's a hint: It's in the center of the doughnut.


Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Ignorance Is Bliss

Really, it is. I kid you not. I've been back in reality for 24 hours now and I gotta tell ya, after years of hearing what-I-don't-know-can't-hurt-me and scoffing in return, a coupla weeks away from teevee "news" and the internets showed me the light.

I finally know how the other half lives. You know the other half. The people who voted Bush back into office. The ding-ding no one's home people.

In trains, planes, and automobiles, current events aren't discussed by these people. War? Where's the damn waitress with their coffee already. Bush's attack on social security? Check, please!

"Normal" people, as they refer to themselves, don't discuss the war, or the dying, or the attack on social security, or gays, or lesbians, or marriage -- gay or otherwise, or abortion, or red states, or blue states, or cock-sucking mother-fucking values. Normal People just want their MTV. Normal People aren't political and geopolitical junkies, like you and me Dear Reader, we're Informed People, and they don't have a clue that the world is spinning under their feet. Normal People are perfectly happy leaving the worrying to the Informed People. Normal People are dead float, thankyouverymuch.

Now that I'm back from the land of la la, I can better understand these Normal People. I understand why Bush is still in office, and yes Virgina, it's sad but true, there are millions of dumb, lazy, Normal People shuffling through life and who are really really really out of the reality loop and are happy to be there. I just wish they didn't vote.