Thursday, May 19, 2005

Purple Pussy Packer 5000

Duck!
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A Beltway prankster, perhaps fueled by reports that a grenade was tossed at President Bush during his tour of the former Soviet satellite nations, engaged in a bit of copy cat satire this morning as a sex toy was thrown at the Bush twins during a photo-op on the White House lawn.

As the large purple device was seen flying through the air, Secret Service agents assigned to the twins immediately ushered the young women into their waiting limousine, while another of the agents threw his body upon the then unidentified object to stifle any vibrations or gyrations that could have adversely affected the conservative audience gathered to meet the twins.

“It was surreal; almost like it was in slow motion,” Winters explained. “At first someone yelled ‘grenade!’ but then we all realized it was just the ‘Purple P---- Packer 5000.’

[snip]

Secret Service and CIA agents who later secured the scene reported that the synthetic penis, or “dildo”, was not live and contained none of the 4 “C” batteries necessary for its operation.

At the daily White House press meeting later in the day, Press Secretary Scott McClellan said that the Bush administration was going to “look closely” at this latest incident, including but not limited to the use of Jeff Gannon.

Ah, satire. A not so lost art, after all.

29 Comments:

At 10:04 AM, Blogger Jeff Huber said...

Wonderful. See if you can say "presidential purple pussy packer" three times real fast.

Jeff

 
At 10:58 AM, Blogger Capitola said...

Heeeeeeeeeeeeee! *spinning in chair*

"Presidential purple pussy packer."

"Presidential pussy purple pracker."

"President Pussy Packin' Purple fingers of Freedom!"

Yeah, that's it.

 
At 11:13 AM, Blogger Jeff Huber said...

How about:

Paula packed her purse with purple pussy packers?

Jeff

 
At 11:25 AM, Blogger Capitola said...

We're sick.

And I'm cracking up!

Stop the insanity!

Okay, one more:

Purple pussy packers packed with presidential petulance put Paula's purse in peril.

Gawd. THAT was bad.

 
At 12:28 PM, Blogger Jeff Huber said...

Okay, I'm a major re-writer. I think this is the "final draft."

Paula Poundstone packed her purse with purple pussy packers

(I kind of like Paula Poundstone, by the way. Funny lady who's worked through some problems.)

Jeff

 
At 8:55 AM, Blogger tgr \m/ said...

steriodswthout a prescription
Yes, yes, it's hard work. HE is workin' hard, (stammer) this is hard work (grimace, pound podium, sneer, fluster, bluster, smirk, wipe smegma from side of mouth, tremble, look way too nervous, be utterly incoherent, massacre the English language, stumble, act totally fucking un-knowledge-able, and look feckless, dickless, witless, repeat ad nauseum, ad infinitum) until you FINALLY get to be elected President. Oh, did I mention hard work???

 
At 10:01 PM, Blogger mrsam said...

The payment transactions made online are perfectly safe and the credit card information encrypted in such a way that it can not be stolen. So, the customer who wants to buy wine online can order either on e-commerce stores or purchase from wine auction websites.best e-cig 2011cheap car tyres

 
At 2:35 AM, Blogger Xấu zai said...

adàá

 
At 1:11 AM, Blogger Xấu zai said...

chiropractor melbourneDisplay RacksHeeeeeeeeeeeeee! *spinning in chair*

"Presidential purple pussy packer."

"Presidential pussy purple pracker."

"President Pussy Packin' Purple fingers of Freedom!"

 
At 1:30 AM, Blogger Xấu zai said...

maquiAutoresponder ServiceOkay, I'm a major re-writer. I think this is the "final draft."

 
At 11:34 PM, Blogger Xấu zai said...

Box Docciaaffordable real estate agent websiteSorry for the total change of subject here...But how can we get a hold of your prints? I'm drooling at all your eye candy you have to offer us. :)

 
At 12:11 AM, Blogger Xấu zai said...

ключ заFree Baby Clothing"Presidential purple pussy packer."

 
At 3:04 AM, Blogger Xấu zai said...

mobile home dealers5 previewThe payment transactions made online are perfectly safe and the credit card information encrypted in such a way that it can not be stolen. So, the customer who wants to buy wine online can order either on e-commerce stores or purchase from wine auction websites.

 
At 3:04 AM, Blogger Xấu zai said...

mobile home dealers5 previewThe payment transactions made online are perfectly safe and the credit card information encrypted in such a way that it can not be stolen. So, the customer who wants to buy wine online can order either on e-commerce stores or purchase from wine auction websites.

 
At 3:05 AM, Blogger Xấu zai said...

mobile home dealers5 previewThe General Assembly also overwhelmingly backed a resolution condemning an alleged assassination plot targeting the Saudi ambassador to the US, which Washinton has accused Iran of being behind.

 
At 8:40 AM, Blogger Dương said...

hotel killarneyOmega Seamaster Planet Ocean replicaHeeeeeeeeeeeeee! *spinning in chair*

"Presidential purple pussy packer."

"Presidential pussy purple pracker."

"President Pussy Packin' Purple fingers of Freedom!"

Yeah, that's it.

 
At 5:21 PM, Blogger Xấu zai said...

Luxusimmobilien in Floridaflip flopsHeeeeeeeeeeeeee! *spinning in chair*

"Presidential purple pussy packer."

"Presidential pussy purple pracker."

"President Pussy Packin' Purple fingers of Freedom!"

Yeah, that's it.

 
At 12:37 AM, Blogger Xấu zai said...

Infiniti A/C compressorsbanners and standsMost of the online stores work on the same pattern of e-commerce selling. First, offering the customer to choose from the category under which his or her desired item is listed. After the customer selects the item he or she is looking for, clicking on "add to the shopping cart" button will add that particular product in the virtual cart for which the payment is usually made by credit card. best e-cig 2011cheap car tyres

 
At 12:56 AM, Blogger Xấu zai said...

cheap televisionsclawfoot tub showerGet an chronometer certification of "Swiss timepieces official testing center" is undoubtedly dream of every manufacturer of mechanical watches.

 
At 12:59 AM, Blogger Xấu zai said...

cheap cake toppersVertical Sleeve GastrectomyPaula packed her purse with purple pussy packers?

 
At 1:23 AM, Blogger Dương said...

red pine needle oilroll up banner standsPurple pussy packers packed with presidential petulance put Paula's purse in peril.

 
At 9:05 AM, Blogger lol said...

herresmykker til mennAustralia\'s Outback OpalsI have never laid my clothes out the night before. I'm still figuring out what i'm going to wear in the mornings while in the shower.

 
At 4:21 AM, Blogger lol said...

wedding cake toppersArthritis AidsMost of the online stores work on the same pattern of e-commerce selling. First, offering the customer to choose from the category under which his or her desired item is listed. After the customer selects the item he or she is looking for

 
At 10:41 AM, Blogger Administrator! said...

After 18 years of talks, the World Trade Organisation is expected to announce that Russia is finally free to join the club of trading countries.
dublin b and btube fillers

 
At 5:38 PM, Blogger cielle said...

I can't imagine people can do this. What's on their mind?
________________
Chiropractor Melbourne

 
At 1:23 AM, Blogger huetouristvietnam.com said...

In remarks to journalists in Rio de Janeiro, Mr Valcke sounded frustrated with Brazilian officials:

"Alcoholic drinks are part of the Fifa World Cup, so we're going to have them. Excuse me if I sound a bit arrogant but that's something we won't negotiate," he said.


Übersetzungsbüro Englischpower cord
Festival Hue 2012 - travel to vietnam - tour to vietnam - tour ghep mien trung - tour festival hue

 
At 4:16 AM, Blogger CuteGirl said...

Fellow candidates Rick Santorum and Ron Paul are also seeking to become the Republican nominee and challenge Mr Obama in November's general election.

Neither candidate campaigned hard in Florida, and they gave their election night speeches from Nevada, where the next contest takes place on Saturday.
Anadrolsalle

 
At 9:22 PM, Blogger lol said...

borse da tennisprofesores particulares de matematicas en barcelonaPaula packed her purse with purple pussy packers?

 
At 11:21 PM, Blogger bi Hung said...

“It was surreal; almost like it was in slow motion,” Winters explained. “At first someone yelled ‘grenade!’ but then we all realized it was just the ‘Purple P---- Packer 5000.’

sex foto
Negative attitude to sex

 

Post a Comment

<< Home