Friday, October 01, 2004

Total Kung Fu Brain

John Kerry's a winner. He won last night. He's going to win in November. He was, as history will play out, born to run.

I watched the debate last night at my son's basketball practice; me and my five-inch black-and-white-screened battery-operated tevee were huddled off to the side of the gym while 3rd graders and their coaching dads tore up the boards a court away from us. In the broadcast glow, just 12 inches from my smiling face, did I see what I'd hoped to see, the next President of the United States ripping the current Preznit a new ass in front of millions of people.

Here's Athenea and Tena with the one, two, three strikes Bush's out:
Here we go.

No opening statements? The hell?

Nice handshake. Very good. Big smile. Is Bush wearing heel lifts?

Ok - after the first words about prayer, I knew - there's not longer any question whatsoever in my mind -- Bush is the anti-Christ.

Kerry: Preventing 9/11 attacks. "I can make America safer." Kerry's whaling on Bush and no "We're 90% of the casualties in Iraq." "Isolate the radical Islamic Muslims rather than let them isolate us." Oooh, good one.

If I was drinking at every mention of terrorism I'd be blind already.

Bush: He's repeating the 10 million registration for Afghanistan again … A-Q? What, is he Big G now?

Wait a minute, Bush is the one who's rambling? Who's going off on tangents now. Same shit, different venue, basically. He's regurgitating talking points.

Kerry: "I believe in being strong and resolute but we also have to be smart."

"He outsourced that job, too." – Kerry referring to Afghanistan, Tora Bora, and the warlords we sent into Afghanistan rather than our soldiers. Goddamn. He is kicking his ass. 90 percent of the casualties and 90 percent of the cost. Holy shit. I mean, holy shit.

Kerry just warmed up and suddenly, the room became filled with the perfume of roses and I know just how you felt when you listened to the Weld debate, Athenae. He's really tearing him apart.

Bush is bringing up Kerry's past statements, which are not in the slightest inconsistent with what Kerry just said. Bush looks snotty, rattled, and annoyed. Already.

Bush just mixed up Hussein and bin Laden … AGAIN.

Kerry rebuttal: Iraq was not even close to the center of the war on terror before the president invaded it. I wonder if Mr. Athenae would mind if I left him for John Kerry.

Bush is just regurgitating talking points. Over, and over, and over. America will be safer. America will be safer. I promise. Trust me. Here, buy this snake oil.

We can succeed but I don't think this president can – Kerry. Lehrer looks like Kerry just fucked his mother live on TV. He looks SHOCKED at Kerry's prowess.

Oh, Game Fucking ON.

There's more and it's all good.

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