Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Ready For His Close Up

According to everyone, Mr. Wonderful needs to show he's more than brilliant and handsome and honest and resolute, and Dick Go Fuck Yourself Cheney needs to show the world that he's really not the Crashcart Killer, that Team Bush offers American voters more than spin and mushroom clouds over Manhattan. YT thinks our side's got the better deal.

PHAT Veep Posted by Hello

You know you're in trouble, Kerry advisor Joe Lockhart said Monday, when you've got to ask Dick Cheney to "cheer up" the voters.

See, Dick's been practicin' his warm, friendly sneer at an undisclosed location. He's one of "us" don'tcha know, not that horrifying puppeteer we've all seen these past four years.

Meanwhile, back in reality, Mary Matalin sez John Edwards is "the man with the golden tongue." No doubt!
On substance and in style, Cheney has made himself a target for all who distrust the Bush administration. Cheney pushed the hardest for the war in Iraq, and then stretched the truth the hardest to support it. It was Cheney who said that Saddam Hussein had "in fact reconstituted nuclear weapons," Cheney who said that U.S. troops would be "greeted as liberators." And even as others in the administration backed away from attempts to link Saddam Hussein to the attacks of Sept. 11, it was Cheney who kept pushing the lie. He peddled the discredited report that an Iraqi intelligence officer met with hijacker Muhammad Atta in Prague in 2001. He claimed that Iraq had been a base for terrorists, "most especially" the ones who attacked on Sept. 11. And when the 9/11 commission concluded that there was "no collaborative relationship" between Saddam Hussein and al-Qaida, Cheney said he "probably" knew more than the commission did.

While Cheney has played a central role in the Iraq war, his reach -- and therefore his taint -- has extended much beyond it, too. With his refusal to release records from his energy task force, his continuing paychecks from Halliburton, and his duck-hunting trip with Antonin Scalia, Cheney cemented the Bush administration's reputation for secrecy and cronyism and a certain kind of contempt for anyone who dared to question either. And that was before he told Patrick Leahy: "Go fuck yourself."

Cheney might be able to pull off the man-behind-the-curtain act if he had Bush's social skills -- or at least the ones the president had before last week's debate, when his own inner Cheney seemed to surface. But Cheney lacks Bush's fake folksy charm. He comes off as somniferous in person, a little sinister on TV.

Dick Cheney = somniferous and sinister.
John Edwards = effective and engaging.

My money's on John Edwards.


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